Unsuspecting Vanillas

Said by brwneydgirl in the Age Play thread:

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...wrecking havoc on unsuspecting vanilllas

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I couldn't get this line out of my mind after this happened:

My little one and I went to the drugstore to pick up my birth control pills, some condoms (being fertile is such a nuisance), and a roll of cotton clothesline rope, and while we were standing at the pickup window at the pharmacy he just happened to mention that he needed to switch the type of razor he was using because he knicked his balls shaving, to which I replied "Well why the hell are you using cheap disposable razors for an area that's more topographically complicated than your face, for which you use the expensive ones?" And then he laughed at himself and said to the clerk "Can you please unlock the razor cabinet?" (In our area there is an age restriction on just about everything)

That was when I realized her face was some kind of cross between mortified, shocked, and flushed embarrassed, and that was when brwneydgirl's line came into my mind and I tried so so hard not to snicker at the poor girl as she stammered to ask her boss where the keys were.

To me this was the most innocent thing, but I think we gave that girl nightmares for a week.

Let us all sit around the campfire and tell stories of shaking the vanilla world. I do find this most entertaining :D

We should start a thread entitled, "Fun with store clerks"...

I'll start:

There is a hot 20-something y.o. guy who runs the counter of our local "Quick-Stop" milk store and one night after stopping in to pick up a gallon of 1%, I .....{Fill in the blank here....the mind reels}

:D

ps--cute story, JW :)

Well...shaving the balls, imho, isnt nessesarally a bdsm vs vanila thingy persay...I've had two vanila bf's before that did it.

Now if he had been standing in line with you while wearing a leash or something...lol thats different.

Whilst out buying a new dress, I asked the store assistant to get me a different size. When she bought it back I had my back to her and she couldn't take her eyes off the marks on my back. I'd completely forgot about the session the night before

Don't know which of us were the more embarrassed lol

Recently I was out looking for a new riding crop.

Visiting several local adult shops yielded nothing but cheap novelty toys that wouldn't last a second in a real scene. Becoming frustrated and running out of time, it dawned upon me to visit the local farm and home store.

It was like BDSM Disneyland, only with great prices!

An hour (or more, I lost track of time) later I dumped my purchases on the counter.
I had added a buggy whip, several types of leather straps, some spurs :) rope, dog collar and leash, and two sets of hobbles to the original intended riding crop.

I felt certain that everyone there knew exactly what I was up to. None the less, I was determined to act as if I was making an everyday normal purchase.

The salesclerk was a young "semi attractive" African American woman. Who promptly commented "Have someone who won't stand still huh?"

Not realizing the innocence of her comment, I stared her dead in the eye, grinned, and replied "Yes precisely that, some One who won't stand still."

It took a moment to register, but it was clear when it did, for her eyes went wide and she stuttered trying to verbalize something. Standing there staring at her, I saw her face turn dark plum in color, as she quickly bagged my items, not daring to look me in the eyes anymore.

I had never seen, or noticed, a African American woman blushing before and after a moment of my own embarrassment, I literally laughed my way out to my car and continued for the next few hours!

The reason i began using "Mister" in stead of "Master":

We were at the lumber yard when He caught a guy checkin me out. Not checking me out in a way that would be acceptable~no, this fella was ogling. This would have been dismissed as a 'he has not been taught proper manners' moment, except he followed us through three aisles, then across the store, and out to the garden center. I was not dressed provocatively, btw.

My Man finally stopped, turned to the man and proceded to hit him with a barrage of sarcastic remarks. People began to stop and stare. I got a bit embarrassed and began to beg: "Master PLEASE!"
I said it several times while tugging on his sleve, when I realized that those standing around us were gawking at me, jaws on the floor. Then I realized that I was wearing my leather collar with the lock on the buckle. I felt my face turn red just then and clammed up. My Husband turnes to me and grinned, and the ogler quickly walked away.

I looked around again and some of those people were now scowling and shaking their heads as they cleared the scene...and that's when i felt very proud of our relationship. I took the opportunity to smile really big at any of them that I saw throughout the store that trip...and touch my collar, of course!

However, that is also when we realized that any of them could have been a teacher or other authority figure in our son's life, and we needed to tone things down in public. At least for a while, anyway. But it was fun just that once!

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Well...shaving the balls, imho, isnt nessesarally a bdsm vs vanila thingy persay...I've had two vanila bf's before that did it.

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This was my point- it takes just so little...

TantricSoul, I will treasure your story forever.
roxi.slut, I will keep your story in mind for the future...

Master leaves for work before I get up. everyday I text him the same thing " love you like crazy Master, have a great day". well one morning I was texting a friend of mine ( she is vanillas and not aware of our M/s relationship) well, I was not completely awake and it was a busy morning getting kids off and such, well I sent the text to my friend by mistake!

Well, all I could do was let her know I was sorry and it was meant for hubby. She got such a kick out of it she saved it and laughs every time she reads it. She never asked why I referred to hubby as Master and we never told her. Well, at least I could make her smile! lol

A friend of mine once went to a shop to buy opera gloves. He needed them for entirely non BDSM purposes (he needed them for far dodgier reasons than that... :) ). He felt the need to explain to the shop assistant when he was buying them that no, he was not a transvestite he just liked dressing up as an elf...

Of course it is the ultimate public humiliation thing to send a sub into a shop with instructions to humiliate themselves. For example, sending a male sub into a female clothes shop and asking them to ask opinions of the staff as to which dress suits their colouring better and what shoes and underwear they need to wear with it :) However, when it happens accidentaly it is often more funny than humiliating...

Well there's this annual convention-like thing that happens around here called the "Taboo Sex Show" ... basically it's all the sex shops, corset makers and sellers of bdsm products (private owned or otherwise) come set up a booth in the convention hall and there are sex seminars for anything from 'how to deepthroat' to 'rope bondage for beginners'

Anyways, the local bdsm community always has a tent set up with equipment in the back of the hall... walking around I KNEW there were 'nilla people around 'getting their feet wet' or what have you (and those unsuspecting police officers that were assigned as security... they looked in and were like "I think it's those... bondage stuff?" ;P )

My Master and I went into the booth, asked if we could use their equipment and they were like "Sure, usual rules, no blood, no fluids, no exposed genitalia or nipples since this is semi-public" so he tied me to some stocks and we had a scene in front of all those people.

I'm loud... I scream REALLY loud... apparently I could be heard from the front of the convention hall and I was told that the tent was completely packed with at least 2 dozen people and others were straining to see in from the opening.

I'm such a terrible exhibitionist ;p and wow I had so many stripes and bruises ... the kind that looks worse as time goes on... couldn't sit for a week ^_______^

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Originally Posted by flying66

Well there's this annual convention-like thing that happens around here called the "Taboo Sex Show" ... basically it's all the sex shops, corset makers and sellers of bdsm products (private owned or otherwise) come set up a booth in the convention hall and there are sex seminars for anything from 'how to deepthroat' to 'rope bondage for beginners'

Anyways, the local bdsm community always has a tent set up with equipment in the back of the hall... walking around I KNEW there were 'nilla people around 'getting their feet wet' or what have you (and those unsuspecting police officers that were assigned as security... they looked in and were like "I think it's those... bondage stuff?" ;P )

My Master and I went into the booth, asked if we could use their equipment and they were like "Sure, usual rules, no blood, no fluids, no exposed genitalia or nipples since this is semi-public" so he tied me to some stocks and we had a scene in front of all those people.

I'm loud... I scream REALLY loud... apparently I could be heard from the front of the convention hall and I was told that the tent was completely packed with at least 2 dozen people and others were straining to see in from the opening.

I'm such a terrible exhibitionist ;p and wow I had so many stripes and bruises ... the kind that looks worse as time goes on... couldn't sit for a week ^_______^

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This is hot. Plus, they weren't completely "unsuspecting vanillas", after all they were at a sex-oriented convention..... :)

Then they were suspecting vanillas. Those can be even more fun!

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Originally Posted by roxi.slut

The reason i began using "Mister" in stead of "Master":

We were at the lumber yard when He caught a guy checkin me out. Not checking me out in a way that would be acceptable~no, this fella was ogling. This would have been dismissed as a 'he has not been taught proper manners' moment, except he followed us through three aisles, then across the store, and out to the garden center. I was not dressed provocatively, btw.

My Man finally stopped, turned to the man and proceded to hit him with a barrage of sarcastic remarks. People began to stop and stare. I got a bit embarrassed and began to beg: "Master PLEASE!"
I said it several times while tugging on his sleve, when I realized that those standing around us were gawking at me, jaws on the floor. Then I realized that I was wearing my leather collar with the lock on the buckle. I felt my face turn red just then and clammed up. My Husband turnes to me and grinned, and the ogler quickly walked away.

I looked around again and some of those people were now scowling and shaking their heads as they cleared the scene...and that's when i felt very proud of our relationship. I took the opportunity to smile really big at any of them that I saw throughout the store that trip...and touch my collar, of course!

However, that is also when we realized that any of them could have been a teacher or other authority figure in our son's life, and we needed to tone things down in public. At least for a while, anyway. But it was fun just that once!

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LMAO i got about 10 feet from the crossing guard at my sons school and suddenly realized i still had my collar on! my hand lept up to it like a kid who gets caught smoking and pulled it off and put it in my pocket as if there wasn't a ton of people all around me.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Williams

Then they were suspecting vanillas. Those can be even more fun!

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Yes... I think those vanillas deserve everything that happens to them :)

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Originally Posted by fetishdj

Yes... I think those vanillas deserve everything that happens to them :)

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teeheehee it's very true lol people kept looking in hoping to see some 'bdsm action' back when there wasn't anyone playing... probably because humans are naturally curious like this and times you just can't look away!

I heard some great comments like from this one lady "She makes such cute noises" ^____^