need help on jelousy problems, please help.

I'm a female submissive, but im worried that im getting too jealous over another submissive. since master has gotten her our private time has decreased dramatically, he often tells me that i will get it at a certin time and dont end up getting it, the new sub often gets pissy when she does not get it so she gets it more often than i do. ive tried shrugging that off but it also does not help that he gives her more attention and picks on her more than he does me, he gives her the attention he used to give to me that i no longer get. im wondering if im too jealous or if i have good reason to feel hurt, forgotten, and replaced, i do everything he asks of me, i please him more often than she does in more non sexual ways, but often have bad timing when it comes to trying to show sexual affection and get turned down, what am i doing wrong?

the new sub also often gets in shortly after the time i was told i would be getting my private time with him

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Originally Posted by bitchybitch56

I'm a female submissive, but im worried that im getting too jealous over another submissive. since master has gotten her our private time has decreased dramatically, he often tells me that i will get it at a certin time and dont end up getting it, the new sub often gets pissy when she does not get it so she gets it more often than i do. ive tried shrugging that off but it also does not help that he gives her more attention and picks on her more than he does me, he gives her the attention he used to give to me that i no longer get. im wondering if im too jealous or if i have good reason to feel hurt, forgotten, and replaced, i do everything he asks of me, i please him more often than she does in more non sexual ways, but often have bad timing when it comes to trying to show sexual affection and get turned down, what am i doing wrong?

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IMO, this is pretty common with poly, and the reason we won't do it again (among hundreds of other reasons). I'm sorry that you are going through this.. honestly, I have no useful advice as we spent 3 years poly with several different women and nothing ever helped me. My Master fucks lots of other women, BUT they are not subs and it's just casual sex- this works really well for us. If you want my brutally honest opinion- get her the hell out of your house. Just my two cents.

I think you need to have a sit down with your Dom and tell him exactly how you are feeling. He needs to negotiate the time spent with you and the new sub.
If you are reacting so strongly against this, maybe you aren't best suited to a relationship in which you need to share.
I've very lightly dabbled in adding another to my relationship and hated it. I want all of my Doms time and attention and hate seeing him with anyone else. There's nothing wrong with this.
Remember that even though you are a sub you should be getting something positive out of your relationship.

Jealousy is often a diagnosis term for an underlying problem. In this case, your Dom is not making sure your need for his time is being filled, and bringing another in exacerbates that issue.

I would have no problem with poly situations if I were given my due time. But in a recent circumstance in my life, I have been shown by his lack of time, exactly where I stand in his world. Therefore... I have begun looking elsewhere.

Good luck with your situation.

thanks everyone with your advice i appreciate it

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bitchybitch56

I'm a female submissive, but im worried that im getting too jealous over another submissive. since master has gotten her our private time has decreased dramatically, he often tells me that i will get it at a certin time and dont end up getting it, the new sub often gets pissy when she does not get it so she gets it more often than i do. ive tried shrugging that off but it also does not help that he gives her more attention and picks on her more than he does me, he gives her the attention he used to give to me that i no longer get. im wondering if im too jealous or if i have good reason to feel hurt, forgotten, and replaced, i do everything he asks of me, i please him more often than she does in more non sexual ways, but often have bad timing when it comes to trying to show sexual affection and get turned down, what am i doing wrong?

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I wonder how this situation arose in the first place? Did you ever talk about how or why a new sub was added to the family?

Poly can work, but these things need to be talked through first, and adjusted as needed along the way.

I would talk to him about these problems. If you do not get a positive response, I'd conclude that this Master is not ready for proper poly relationships, and get out.

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Originally Posted by Dea Menrfa

I would have no problem with poly situations if I were given my due time. But in a recent circumstance in my life, I have been shown by his lack of time, exactly where I stand in his world. Therefore... I have begun looking elsewhere.

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This is a typical wrong way of doing it - so called NRE (new relationship energy)
cannot mean that the existing relationship is neglected. It is a time where it is very important to make sure that the first partner is safe and can keep up.

Have you tried talking about it?

Is this a real life or online relationship?

Was poly discussed before hand or introduced out of the blue?

If he can have another submissive why cant you have another dom?

I am sure he would feel differently if the shoe was on the other foot!

Hmmm sounds like alot of talking needs to be done.....poly ofr it to work everythng must be talked out and everyone must know their role..

the new sub was introduced because she became a roommate and was interested in him and they both liked each other some, my dom only listens to a little bit at a time and only when hes in the mood, we no longer have that sub but he has in a way replaced her, still though there were issues, but after fighting with him because he could tell something bothered me, im overcomming them and seeing and understanding a little bit, but it also hurt to know he started favoring the new sub, recently though since im healing from a medical problem hes started giving me more of the attention i used to get