Simple enough question, how do you turn a girl into more of a submissive?
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Simple enough question, how do you turn a girl into more of a submissive?
You don't.
You become the best person you can be. Earn the respect of those around you. Forcing some random girl to become submissive to you will not work.
Choose my words more poorly. My partner likes to be tied and told what to do about 50% of the time and tells me fantasies that are extremely submissive in nature but we never seem to go that far.
Is there a specific reason as to why you both don't go further than what you expect to?
Everyone is different and has different circumstances so it's hard to really answer your question.
You don't have to divulge anything, but a little more information would be good so that you can get a better answer that's geared towards your situation.
Normally she just wants to jump to sex even after a small amount of foreplay, and it is very hard for me to turn her down. I want to extend the foreplay into a longer event where she has to wait, but I don't want to do anything that she doesn't want to do. What to do? Say?
Well you still can't force her to be submissive, unless she really wants to try.
I am a "wham, bam, thank you m'am" kind of girl.
I don't mind foreplay, but most of the times, I want an orgasm within the first five minutes, and then I'm satisfied, screw whatever the other person wants.
But I can be in situations where I can have that orgasm denied and prolonged.
Have you both seriously sat down and discussed this?
You could broach the subject with her and ask if the next time you are together, that you would like to try a longer drawn out foreplay, and not to give in to her need to have what she wants now.
You could tie her down with scarves, and tease her for awhile.
Start off slow, with small time frames and gauge how much she enjoys it.
After the fact, discuss what you and your partner enjoyed or did not enjoy and continue on from there.
Talk, talk, talk and more talk is the key. It seems to me though that you perhaps arent Dominant enough with her. You dont want to force her or do things that she doesnt want. I am not telling you do do things she doesnt want but be open and talk with her and perhaps you should start the foreplay with tying her down?
With her having submissive fantasies that shouldnt cause a big problem I guess.
and @ cadence. It sure looks like WE arent a good match then since I sure arent a "wham bam thankyou man" kinda guy ^^. I love the long "plays" :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logic1
hahahaha, I don't think there are too many Dominants who enjoy the good ole wham bam
I do end up having to compromise, mostly it involves a lot of willpower or better yet a lot of rope :)
the way i see it, if she has those fantasies, you have to step up. you can't make her a sub, but you can be more dominant. talk to her. plan a day to try tieing her up. plan it out. then don't do it.
call her one day. tell her you want her. that you will be there and she is to be ready. tell her what to wear. where to be. and what you will do TO her. then follow through.
Good advice on this thread. I think Logic nailed it best. It seems like it's more a matter of you coming to terms with your dom-ness than with her submission.
If it pleases her to please you, and you are only worried about pleasing her, then you reach a stand-off. Take control, and tell her what you want, even if that means she has to delay gratification (especially if that means she has to delay gratification). Even if it means that sometimes you're taking what you want rather than giving what she wants. (If you're both really d/s, those will come hand in hand--so to speak)
And it's not like you're talking about tying her or hurting her without permission, just making her put off cumming. When it comes to orgasm control, the ends always justify the means. There is nothing better than an orgasm you have to work for.
I appreciate all the posts you guys/gals left. Ill let yall know how it ends.