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This is very new; my owner has given me permission to take on a girl if I want. Not like some, "You think this is easy then you try it," but more like, "I think you'd enjoy this, so go for it." A reward, just because he feels like it!
*giggle* Now, I have to learn how to do it!
I was also given the permission to switch at one point in time... very natural for me to be dominant with a girl because my personality is naturally dominant with other women. (I am bi.) I was very happy with the idea, and we proceeded to find me a femsub. My experience was TERRIBLE! Not that I did not love my Domme role, not that I didn't love inflicting tortures upon her, and not that I did not try my best to learn from my Master and others and to apply my slave experience to the situation. The ultimate trouble was- I found that I could not let my guard down in front of her to behave as His slave. My Master was actually fairly understanding of this problem and was fairly mellow with his behavior toward me in her presence. This might not have turned into the huge issue it did except that she lived with us and shared our bed. To make a dreadfully long story shorter, her lack of ability to see me being slavely, and my inability for her to witness me in that position ended up having devastating effects on my relationship with my Master. It also took a huge toll on me emotionally to not be acting as His slave most of the time. In the end, I hated myself for my Domme side and for my terrible neglect of my Master. And worse yet, he started to hate me for it too. He nearly took away my collar and set me free a couple of times because he was so displeased with me... something which is and always had been incomprehensible to either of us. So, I am telling this story because I think you need to consider these sort of issues. Can you act as his slave/sub (sorry, I'm not sure which you are) in front of a girl who you need to maintain control of? Can the girl in question handle seeing her Mistress be treated as a slave/sub by another person? I genuinely view switching as THE worst mistake I have ever made in 13 years with my Master. Now, nearly a year and a half removed from the relationship with her, I am finally beginning to heal emotionally from the guilt I carry; and our relationship has found a new version of stability. I am no longer allowed to switch, nor have female (or other male) partners AT ALL. I am still being punished for what I allowed to happen when given this same gift that you speak of. Just be careful, please... some people really can not switch even if they have the inclination to because it destroys their image of themselves and sends them into a mental tailspin. I exist to serve as a bad example. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninva
I hate that you have lost a part of yourself over this.
My real life job is often to bend people to my owner's wishes. "No, goober's don't go in with empty hands; take the equipment you expect to need..."
*blush* Gotta run, pissed off the bear...
When he's in the room, he's in control. At all times, what he says goes. That is simply the end of the story. Any other relationship must be secondary to our bond. And, if another sub won't respect me because I submit to him, then I'm certain that he'll be more than happy to explain the situation to her.
My status is rather different than most; I'm just a pet. I submit, but on slightly different terms. I am at his elbow almost every minute of every day as his assistant, helpmate, and his coworker. Basically, I submit as his wife, neither his slave nor his submissive, but that vital other half of his existence that creates his will in his domain.
I fit in neither in the vanilla world nor here, but I never expect any different. Impailer wouldn't like me to conform, to fit in. He wants me to be what I am, not what another thinks I should be. Really, not what he thinks I should be, either.
Sometimes, that does lead to real trouble when he wants one thing AND something else that is mutually exclusive. I'm having trouble breaking all the laws of physics for him right now, hence the angry bear routine...