Keeping in touch with Doms/Dommes
Would welcome people's opinion on the following:
How do you feel about your partner keeping in touch with Dom/Dommes they have played with?
I have a few Dom friends who I keep in touch with. I didn't have "relationships" with them as such but was involved on a purely "play" basis. Master is fine about me keeping in touch with them but sometimes I feel a bit guilty about doing so.
They are friends and personally I wouldn't think it was right if Master banned me from speaking to them. It's only because they got closer to me than the "average" friend that I feel a little awkward about keeping the contact. I'm not saying for a minute that I feel guilty because I think that something might happen it's only because of the intimacy we shared before.
Take vanilla relationships for example, it's not always the case that you stay firm friends with ex lovers.
Sorry if I'm not making any sense here. I just wondered if anyone else has the same issues?
Angel x
One of those factors that might impact such a decision is....
In my experience, there are times when a Dominant and submissive have related so completely in a D/s context, that when revisiting that relationship, it is very easy to slide back into those roles. As such, if my sub were engaging in a relationship such as that, reacting to another woman with respect to her Dominance as opposed to freindship, I would not want there to be further contact.
It has NOTHING to do with trust, rather than the tendency for human beings to establish a pattern of how they interact with others and maintain that pattern even after those elements of the relationship have been removed.
This sort of behavior could feasibly interfere with some of the D/s aspects of our relationship.
Gary, if she is reflecting openly on Master Bill, I am assuming, as it sounds like you are, that there is more to her thinking than just what's meets the eye.
Perhaps, in terms of semantics, "forbid" seems a strong word. However, if I feel it is necessary and healthy for our relationship, I will "forbid" things, including interaction and levels of interaction.
Again, my views should not indicate a lack of trust in my submissive.
However, if he cannot except my directions unconditionally when it is necessary to be so firm, where is his trust in Me?
You cannot throw stones about the issue of trust. If you truly trust your Dominant, then you must trust that there are times when you may not have a choice. Or at least, that is how D/s is interprated and understood in my life. If that is not acceptable to a potential submissive, then they will not be my submissive.
However, in terms of contact with previous lovers and Dommes, if I were to forbid all contact with all previous lovers and Dommes, yes, that would indicate a certain lack of confidence in O/our relationship. On a case by case basis, I am merely suggesting that there may be times when this sort of action might be necessary.
Fortunately, my guy and I have had no problems in this arena, that of trust and language. We do communicate openly and teh likelihood that I would have to forbid contact is slim, because he is more likely to ask Me what I want him to do in said situations and in so doing, be willing to accept and predict My decision.
Not that I'm a Domme, but....
:D giving my opinion here, I would think that, being dominent over another, it comes down to "control".
On 1 level, I would wish to maintain complete control over my sub. Not, if they were in touch with a previous Dom, fall into being submissive to the prior one out of habit. That takes some of my control away, allowing another to influence, for good or ill, the sub I am trying to shape.
On another level, by denying such a contact, it might bring about negative feelings on my subby's part, for taking something that deep within them, away from them. Seems to me, that a good Dom(me) wants to use and enhance and thereby control the subs feelings and thoughts, and if that means allowing them to learn/ build/ remember their past and how they got here, it would just be one more tool for me to accept and learn to use to my advantage.
I know, ambiguous response, but, I guess what I must reiterate is the "control" feature. If I can control my sub through everything and everyone they have interactions with, then I am a success. Perhaps it is a nice growing feature in a relationship, to test it out this way once in a while....
I do have a believe in this.
there is a way I believe that a sub or slave can talk and have contact with a previous Master. As your sub's or slave's current Master you have to make shure that your slave or sub understands that you are the only one who she or he is to except orders, and or comands from, that doesn't meen to show lack of respect, but in all and at all times that the sub or slve is required to do something that he or she will respond only to you.
