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My Girl and I have been dating for some time and we have joked about some SM roles. I have even attempted to steer her towards some erotic literature and movies. I just dont think she is getting the hints. She is willing to try new things as long as we go slow. I am trying to overcome my impatience and was wondering if anyone has any advice. A particular story, movie, website that might ease her into a BDSM lifestyle??
Please help!
John
the chat here is a fun place :)
you could encourage her to talk to other more open minded individuals to find out what peaks her interest... everyone here is so great surely they'd havea good impact ...
Mydungeonspace.com like myspace but for bdsmers and others who are open to less vanilla things...
andddddd
www.hentaithat.com great FREE full length hentai movies on various different things.. even some slight to full out bdsm...
some things on there are a lil ick to me... but some are pretty great.
Maid in heaven was one of my favs.
If your SO is anything like mine, stories, books, sites and the like will not turn her around easily.
I do know that communication is important, and patience is the key as well. Even though we would love nothing more than to dive into more involved play, we need to take things slow and in moderation.
My boyfriend refuses to read any books, or watch any movies, and will not make even the slightest attempt to understand what I enjoy.
I have made small efforts to talk about things, and so far talking has evolved into a bit of progress. We do try a few things once in a blue moon.
So far I have eased him into my world a little bit at a time, and I try to encourage him to try some small things, so that he isn't completely shocked by it all.
The time will come when we will discuss things in greater detail, and that will be the only way I will know if he will want to really share this with me, or if he will leave me to my own devices.
Your best bet is to talk about how you feel and what you would like and to determine how fast or slow you both want to proceed.
The best place to start is asking: "Have you ever wanted to try __?" Start with something light -- tied hands, or a blindfold, or just tell her she has to hold still. Even "vanillas" would probably enjoy this a bit, and it can lead quite naturally to talks about doing more. If she's open to "new things," this shouldn't be a big deal. Worst case scenario, she says "No, I don't think I'd like that," and you move on.
Don't hint. That's not just for BDSM, that's for relationships generally. If you have to play games to get your message across, it's not going to work. I won't go on a rant on that topic, though, much as I'd like to.
So I have to ask... and do so here rather than appear to interfere directly within your personal ad...Quote:
Originally Posted by JCorey
If you wish to delve into this without your own SO, why are you eschewing the opportunity to connect with an experienced submissive? One who could teach you a few things.Quote:
Originally Posted by JCorey
I ask because it befuddles me that being inexperienced yourself, by you own words, you would deny both yourself and this potential sub the opportunity to avoid common mistakes.
Quite simply I am hoping to learn fro an O/L experience and I hope it will carry into my personal relationship...if not I have the online outlet. I hope this clears up the befuddlement.
But why only with an inexperienced submissive?
That's the core of my question.
I guess the answer is I do not have anything to offer an experienced submissive.
*knock, knock* It's not what you have to offer an experienced sub, it's what an experienced sub has to offer you. There's no one better than an experienced submissive to guide you on your journey and help you to discover the domly you.Quote:
Originally Posted by JCorey
OK...an experienced submissive may be the way to go to learn...I am willing...just got to find the submissive willing to help me learn!
Some say you have to submit to learn to be a good dom... but I don't cotton to that notion. Sure, it's one way to go... but some of us will never be that type.
But there is nothing to be lost and everything to be gained from having an experienced first partner. Take it from one who knows. ;)
Yep!Quote:
Originally Posted by blythespirit
Good job, imo.Quote:
Originally Posted by JCorey
Uh huh, you done good. And I'm sure in no time you'll be one of the best Doms on the forum. Cuz you want to learn.