Chastity question for Dommes

Hello everyone,

I’m not sure this is the right place to post this, but I suppose it can’t hurt to ask, I am new to BDSM and the lifestyle in general and was hoping you Mistresses in this thread could help me.

I have started chatting to a Domme online and like me she is new and inexperienced, we are both starting out in what we hope will be something new and exciting. Last night we were talking about shared interests/kinks and while we had many there is one in particular that we would both like to experiment with, but are unsure about where and how to start.

We are both very keen to try chastity, it’s always been a fantasy of mine to be kept chaste by a beautiful young Domme and she is keen to practice chastity on me.

We have both done some research online and have come across many references and suggestions some helpful and some not, but so far no real ideas on where to begin, so we were wondering;

Do any of the Mistresses here practice chastity with their subs? If so, would they be willing to pass on some of their wisdom and experience and share with us some of the things they do with their subs regarding chastity?

Our main questions are about getting started, orgasm control/denial, keyholding, punnishments/rewards etc

I know we are probably asking a lot, but we would be extremely grateful for any ideas or suggestions you might have for us.

Thanking you all in advance and looking forward to hearing from all you Mistresses and Goddesses out there.

Sub Legion & Mistress Stacey

Mistress Stacey and Sub Legion,

Great questions.

First up: define what chastity means to the both of you.
Ask yourselves some questions.

When, if ever, do you want it broken?

Under what circumstances will Legion be allowed to climax?

Will there be consequences a climax occurs without permission?

Legion can you be honest with this about to your Mistress?

One simple way to get started is with submissive tasks.

For example,
an item of clothing, jewelrey -- a ring, chain, watch -- etc,
can be used for control. When Legion is wearing said item, Legion is under the control of Stacey. Period.

If Legion is feeling bolder, a piece of ribbon tied around a certain body part and worn under clothing might have the same affect.

From the moment the item is worn until removed with permission by Stacey, the chastity and climax control begins.

Stacey, depending on whether or not you enjoy watching or hearing your sub orgasm, you might enforce a time of day, or moment when your sub must orgasm for you.

When I started with my Nat, he had been "trained" NOT to cum! "Bloody hell," I thought. "I want that man to climax and climax often under my control."

I started with having him masturbate up to the point of climaxing multiple times per day. He could only finish when I was on the phone or chat and gave him permission.

We've got lots of threads around here on orgasm control and denial. The first step is to just get started. Think about the end result you want to acheive and take baby steps towards it.

To your success!

Ruby

Thank you Ruby for your taking the time to reply to our questions, any suggestions you have are most welcome.

fisrtly I suppose chastity to us would be an expression of the control Miss Stacey has over me, the fact its a shared fantasy of our helps alot I guess. We hope to get better at this as we go along, right now its still something we're starting out in.

I would hope not to be in a position to break it, we were thinking of more along the lines of Miss Stacey giving her permission for me to orgasm, we had thought of her maybe controling my erections, with me reporting everytime I got one, with online this could be tricky, but we both hope to be conpletely honset with eachother.

As for circumstances of orgasms it would be up to Miss Stacey how, when or if I orgasm, we were thinking it would involve us playing online or completion of certain tasks etc

As for consequences, we dont expect this to run perfectly at first, so a certain amount of leway is involved as we both become more experienced, of course there would be some sort of punnishment if i dont meet Miss Stacey's expectations the severity of which would be up to her, we just intend to be honest with eachother and take it slowly at first.

Your ideas of the jewlery and ribbon seem like an excellent place to begin, thank you again for suggesting them, is this how you started out with you sub?

Will prob have many more questions as we explore, thanks for being so patient

Legion & Miss Stacey

Hi Miss Stacey and Legion,

I'm happy to be of help. It sounds like the two of you have given this a lot of thought.

Giving both of you time to adjust into your roles,
as well as giving Legion a grace period for practicing
behavior to be rewarded is a good idea.

I'm not one for punishments, however, sometimes they are needed. We don't punish ourselves if we are learning a new task and we fail. Instead, we learn from our mistakes, get up and try that task again. That's why it's important to know what behavior for which you are striving and it's much easier to say that you were successful in accomplishing it.

Quote:

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Your ideas of the jewlery and ribbon seem like an excellent place to begin, thank you again for suggesting them, is this how you started out with you sub?

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We used the ribbon in some submissive tasks early on. After our first real life meeting, I gave Nat a collar to wear during our private time and a few other items so he could be more discreet when in public. Any one of those items signifies many things for us.

Early on, we also exchanged vows that we strive to honor daily. Here's the thread we started with more information on Nat and me:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3419

Keep asking those questions, and don't be afraid to ask the doms for help, too.

To your success,

Ruby
:rose:

thank you for the words of support and ideas, we are both aware this is a new experience for us both and we intend to take it slowly at first and who knows where this exciting new experience might lead.

the punnishment element is one we discussed, im not to know what the exact punnishment is that would be up to Miss Stacey to decide if and when and the severity, but allowing time to practice and learn is a must, one idea Miss Stacey has as a punnishment was increasing the duratation I would be kept chaste, this ties into my next question,

another question I feel I should ask is more about the psyical side of chastity and the long term effects if any on the body, is it ok for me to go long periods without release?, I am aware that the body releases excess sperm in the form of a wetdream isnt this technically an orgasm is the sense of the word or is this part and parcel of chastity?

legion & Miss Stacey

Quote:

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Originally Posted by legion2500

thank you for the words of support and ideas, we are both aware this is a new experience for us both and we intend to take it slowly at first and who knows where this exciting new experience might lead.

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It could lead to lots and lots of fun, for sure.

Quote:

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the punnishment element is one we discussed, im not to know what the exact punnishment is that would be up to Miss Stacey to decide if and when and the severity, but allowing time to practice and learn is a must, one idea Miss Stacey has as a punnishment was increasing the duratation I would be kept chaste...

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Oooh, wicked and wonderful.

Quote:

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..., this ties into my next questionanother question I feel I should ask is more about the psyical side of chastity and the long term effects if any on the body, is it ok for me to go long periods without release?, I am aware that the body releases excess sperm in the form of a wetdream isnt this technically an orgasm is the sense of the word or is this part and parcel of chastity?

legion & Miss Stacey

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Legion, that is quite a question. Okay, a number of them.

Is it okay? What are the long term affects? That depends on your mental and physical health.

I tend to get very, very, emphasize the word cranky, when I don't get my release. I don't know about you.
I sleep better, concentrate easier and function better, when my needs are met.

What are you needs? Do you need to be chaste? If you find that more satisfying, and the giving the control to your d/s partner is what you need, then by all means see that those needs are met.

Now about those erections and wet dreams, ah youth!
There are some fairly wicked devices on the market that will wake you up every time you have an erection in your sleep. Lack of sleep and rest may be the immediate result.

Are you still being chaste? Well, the erection is involuntary, your control about the same.

Would I expect you to report those night time occurances to me if I was your domme?

Yes, I would.

Have fun,

Ruby
:rose:

Miss Stacey and Legion,

There is a web site that you might enjoy.

It's Goddess Dianna Vesta's
http://blog.femsupreme.com/

This month she's featuring an aritlce I highly recommend called

How to become an Amazing Domina – It’s Easy!
by Akasha

Enjoy,

Ruby

Thank you again, for your advice, I showed the blog you suggested to Miss Stacey she was very impressed.

In answering the questions you posed, psyically and mentally Im in good shape so we feel that shouldnt be much of a problem.

With the cranky aspect, we both feel thats maybe to be expected at first but hopefully its not going to be much of an issue, espically if Miss Stacey has her way! haha

As far as needs, chastity is a fantasy we both share and would love to explore, we think its a good place to begin in our journey into the lifestyle - a fantasy we both would enjoy, obvioulsy if one of us found we didnt enjoy chastity we would either have to reconsider or maybe even abandon it completely, but we feel nothing ventured nothing gained, experience wise anyway.

I am eager to experiecne what its like to be kept chaste by a domme in this case Miss Stacey and she loves the idea of being in control over me to the point where she controls when or if I have an orgasm.

You seem to have sparked Miss Stacey's wicked imagination, when you mensioned "There are some fairly wicked devices on the market that will wake you up every time you have an erection in your sleep", she was absolutly intrigued to find out what these device are haha:) lack of sleep may be a factor indeed! :)
I would of curse be expected to report everytime I got an erection without Miss Stacey's permission and it would be up to her weather or not it warrented a punnishment.

Miss Stacey has done research on milking, this topic has come up quite often in both our searches, we have read some posts, info etc on it and were wondering what your opinion is on it?

Once again thank you,

Legion & Miss Stacey

Miss Stacey and Legion,

It sounds like you've really thought this through.
Fantastic!

Ah, milking. Which can mean different things to different people.

If its something that turns the both of you on, that's cool.

Have fun!

Ruby

We have just read some posts, info about in researching chastity on the web, suppose its like that in the way we would try it and decide if its for us, we were wondering if it is difficult to do, Miss Stacey is keen to try it as she sees it as another form of control along with the chastity.

Also we read that it is essential to maintain a healthy prostate, and if this is the case it would make sense to include it in our chastity routine. Have you practiced this with your sub?


Thanks you for all your patience


legion & Miss Stacey

Quote:

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Originally Posted by legion2500

Have you practiced this with your sub?

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I haven't practiced this with my sub. We are more into denial, then release, versus the milking aspect.

Perhaps some other Dommes can chime in on this subject.

Have fun!

Ruby

Can you tell us about that?


hahaha Hopefully some more will, seems unfair that your the only one giving us advice :)

I am a bit surprised that there has not been anyone else to toss in a post here but I will offer my two cents.

The mental /psychological aspect of enforced chastity should not be underestimated at all. I think a good experiment for you would be to set a time for you to be chaste. I would guess you may have already done that anyway but if you had not I think the obsession about wanting to cum but knowing you can not will be more intense than you expect.

I know that the moodiness from denial can be rather much to deal with. It pays not to underestimate how much the release of endorphins and neurochemicals reactions that take place at orgasm keep us mentally healthy. In short we become addicted to the chemical reactions in our bodies from the activities we do regularly eg exercise, sex and so on. If we do not get it we experience a form of withdrawal from the feelings that the chemical reactions create. If release is denied and then allowed the overwhelming feelings after orgasm are also incredibly intense to deal with too. It may be surprising if you have never had that happen before. Crying and other odd reactions can happen. I would suggest that some extra after care may be needed by your mistress. You may find that you feel incredibly vulnerable and it can be a reaction that is hard to handle at first.

I think that the idea of a routine to maintain a healthy prostate leads to all kinds of interesting ideas. I think that being forced to ask for maintenance would be so fun to play with. I have not done it but I have read that ejaculation can be forced with not allowing the orgasm to come with it. What about the idea of having to ask to stimulate to the point of orgasm and then having to beg to stop and not cum to please Mistress? Lots of interesting things to do for sure.

I would think that incorporating a trigger word to allow the orgasm would be an interesting concept to explore as well. I do think that it would be a bit of a concern that there was no metal block created that could make it difficult to cum when allowed. I would guess that prolonged conditioning to repress erection and release may run a risk of having undesirable side effects such as that if care was not taken.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m...18/ai_90683765

http://www.healthmedicalguide.org/pr...e-massage.html


http://www.lockmeup.com/cb/facts/pro...ge-060999.html

You both seemed to have put a great deal of research into this idea and that is great. I hope that we hear more about how the whole thing works out for you both.

Thank you Widget for responding to our post, it is indeed a shame no one else seems interested in posting but such is life, anyway Ruby has been more than helpful in answering our many questions its just a shame that you are the only ones.

What you said about endorphins and neurochemicals is not something we have come across in our research and is definately something we will ahve to look into, thanks for pointing that out.

Your ideas are also very welcome, please keep them coming, Miss Stacey espically liked the asking for maintenance idea, and as for the idea of begging to stop and NOT to cum, pure wicked genious!

Also thanks for the links.


Legion & Miss Stacey