Explain 24/7

my Man & i have been together nearly 4 years & neither of us have any background in bdsm. We found that the harder He bit me or the harder He pulled my hair, the more we liked it. Fast forward to light bondage, spanking, breath play. i just knew there was more to this than "kinky sex". i love Him controlling me, commanding me, so i started researching & found this site along w/ some others. i definitely consider myself a sub but i dont quite understand how to balance this part of my life w/ my "real" life. One of the first things i read about 24/7 said the sub didnt work, didnt have a drivers license, only gets money her Dom gives her, has to have permission to get her hair cut etc. We knew this wasnt for us. i own my own biz. i'm an independent woman. But the more i read on this site, it seems alot of you have kids & jobs & lives outside the bedroom. So if you sit on the couch instead of at your Dom's feet, or if you are helping your kid w/ his homework & dont greet your Dom at the door, are you in a 24/7 relationship?

BDSM is a very individual thing. The 24/7 and how you express your submissive side to him during those regular life moments when it would be rather inappropriate to say the least is up to you. If when he looks at you while your teaching math to your children and you look down to show your respect and submission, it wouldn't be lost on him, and wouldn't give the kids weird ideas as to whats going on. That is just one example. How you two decide to express the power exchange between the two of you is really your choice. If ANYONE tells you that what your doing isn't real or isn't 24/7 or isn't the right way, immediately ignore them. No one can decide that but you and He.

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Originally Posted by IDCrewDawg

BDSM is a very individual thing. The 24/7 and how you express your submissive side to him during those regular life moments when it would be rather inappropriate to say the least is up to you. If when he looks at you while your teaching math to your children and you look down to show your respect and submission, it wouldn't be lost on him, and wouldn't give the kids weird ideas as to whats going on. That is just one example. How you two decide to express the power exchange between the two of you is really your choice. If ANYONE tells you that what your doing isn't real or isn't 24/7 or isn't the right way, immediately ignore them. No one can decide that but you and He.

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Well said ID! Well said!

Right on, ID. It's up to you to define your relationship, the labels don't matter. When I was reading your descirption of the hard core 24/7 couple I was thinking "No driver's licence?! No job?! Has to . . .oh wait, I have to ask permission to get my hair cut." You draw the lines where they are comfortable for you and your Man. If that line isn't "this stuff belongs only in the bedroom", then I think a lot of people would call you 24/7 or at least lifestylers.

newby
I agree with what has been said so far but I think you should know that there are plenty of people that claim that kind of lifestyle but very few live it. It is the substance of fantasy and fiction mostly.

Life is real and takes it toll on us all, Sounds to me that you are working out your own version of `24 7. I would advise some simple task being assigned you that either take little time to do or are physical in nature. Your Dom should assign these to you so that each day you are able to feel and live your submission without it being a burden on regular life.

newby,

You've almost described what might be considered a 24/7 master/slave relationship by some.

But there is plenty of room for a 24/7 dominant/submissive relationship that allows the sub plenty of room for being self actualized in many things.

No driver's license? How could you serve me properly.
Can't decide on your own clothes, style of hair? How could you surprise me with sexy lingerie, new insertables. How could you entertain me.

The list goes on and on.

Ah, the eternal question of "What is 24/7?"....

As ID and others have alluded to, 24/7 is what you make it to be. Point is this: real lifestylers who live 24/7 have to survive in the real world, just like everyone else. Everyone who lives in the real world and is 24/7 has responsibilitites. Whether it's kids or jobs or school, there's always something. And the bills have to get paid, the home taken care of, the grocery shopping completed. There are very few...scratch that near ZERO... people who have the luxury to live in the fantasy world of a 24/7 sub-stays-home-does-nothing-but-fuck life. And to be honest, that'd be BORRRRINNNNGGG... To stay at home all day and do what?? After the house is clean, there isn't much to do, and staying home in that role would provide what service for yor dominant? For being a submissive is ALL about servitude.

Everyone serves their dominant differently and in their own special ways. Some serve by having a good job outside of the house to help provide additional income. Some serve by staying home and taking care of the kids and making sure to provide for the family in non-financial means. Some go to school and serve thier Dominant by becoming more educated so that they can get a good job down the road. In every case it boils down to the same thing: servitude. People often forget that servitude is at the heart of submission. And I am not talking about the beating, fucking, physical kind of servitude (though mmm... we all do love that part!!!). I am talking about the day in, day out servitude. Keeping the house in order, doing the little things that make your Dom smile-- fetching a towel for them when they get out of the shower, making coffee in the morning, laying their clothes out for them to make it easier in the morning, being at the door with a hug and kiss when possible at night, making a meal...

There are things like spending quality time relaxing together, having dinner together, talking about the kids (if you have them), dealing with relatives, going out with friends--all things that you need in a 24/7 lifestyle relationship just like you need in a 24/7 vanilla relationship.

This is my long way of saying: 24/7 D/s is a dynamic, fluxing experience. You have to ebb and flow with real life, you have to move with the way r/l moves. You can't stay home and be a fantasy love slave all day-- you'd be bored and it wouldn't be realistic... besides which... your Dom WOULD tire of that after a while, no matter what they say lol...

Hope this gives you some help,

delia

Great info...thanks to all of you. My Man likes for me to make my own decisions but He loves that i do what He says. His having to make every single decision about every little detail of life is too time consuming.

Sir Russell...being assigned tasks, i like that. i want to serve my Man more & more but life is so complicated for us both. We can make that work tho.

Oz...great perspective. i got a Brazilian wax yesterday w/out His permission but for His entertainment. He loves that i surprise Him.

Delia...stay at home sex slave? What a fun fantasy, but not so realistic, huh? My Man & i dont live together yet but i already think & plan & want to do all those little things for Him...make His lunch, bring Him a warm towel, serve Him. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

Dragon and i consider ourselves 24/7, even though i have my own bank account, car, and things like that.

He does not allow me to cut my hair and he does choose my clothing (because that is just one of his 'things'). The running of the house is my domain, i make the decisions. My job is to make his life easier.

What makes us 24/7 is that continual awareness, with every decision i make, of what i am, and to Whom i belong.

Well said, muse.

delia and Dragon's muse well said to both of you and I bet you keep your Masters proud.

Task that you can do to keep him in your mind and your submissive well oiled, try this one take a metal clip, one that would clip chains together, with you to work. Each time you go to the bathroom, each break you take you go into the stall and use the clip on your sweet clit for a set number of strokes, this can be added to by sucking on fingers while thinking of sucking on his cock.

One I love is having her wear a garterbelt with ribbons hanging down the front to tickle and tease her clit and inner thighs as she moves even a little

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Originally Posted by Sir_Russell

delia and Dragon's muse well said to both of you and I bet you keep your Masters proud.

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Thank you, i try to keep Dragon proud and happy.

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Originally Posted by newby

Great info...thanks to all of you. My Man likes for me to make my own decisions but He loves that i do what He says. His having to make every single decision about every little detail of life is too time consuming.

Sir Russell...being assigned tasks, i like that. i want to serve my Man more & more but life is so complicated for us both. We can make that work tho.

Oz...great perspective. i got a Brazilian wax yesterday w/out His permission but for His entertainment. He loves that i surprise Him.

Delia...stay at home sex slave? What a fun fantasy, but not so realistic, huh? My Man & i dont live together yet but i already think & plan & want to do all those little things for Him...make His lunch, bring Him a warm towel, serve Him. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

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You know.. I'm a certified quality control inspector and can make sure they did a good job for you. :rolleyes:

Oz...way to step up & volunteer. It's nice to know i can count on my new forum friends.