Review me!

This is actually a third draft, but the second version I've posted.

The setting: The Roman Empire...in the future!! [*dum-dum-dummm* music]

I'd like to know: Does the setting work (i.e., is it interesting) and are the characters consistent.

Thanks in advance for useful/sincere feedabck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RiverOtter

This is actually a third draft, but the second version I've posted.

The setting: The Roman Empire...in the future!! [*dum-dum-dummm* music]

I'd like to know: Does the setting work (i.e., is it interesting) and are the characters consistent.

Thanks in advance for useful/sincere feedabck.

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Nice start RiverOtter; the beginnings of a SCIFi epic no doubt. I did a little color correcting in word doc which I could e-mail as an attachment if you like but it's mostly misplaced words and pronoun stuff, the story flow itself is great.
Mad Lews

Thank you; feedback is always appreciated! I'm still not entirely satisfied with it; I might change it around again.

I especially like the use of latin; it gaves a good push to the atmosphere.
I'd learn latin at school and can still understand some smatterings.