chalsia

when is Sir/Ma'am and other honorifics appropriate?

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5 Comments

, 10-07-2008 at 05:46 PM (5343 Views)

Here goes some more ramblings from someone like me.
I have been lurking a bit in the chat here and actually to the point now that i say hello so some of the girls. It is an easy place to just sit and watch and learn. And yes i'm learning. But here is my question and my thoughts on something. For the second time in about a couple of weeks now someone sorta got upset with me, because i did not address him with Sir. I have given this a great deal of thought and i'm still not sure how to handle it. When asked in the chat room for answers the consensus was that i should do what i want to. But what is the *right* thing to do?
At a local munch .. the rules are very gray as well. I mean there is this *big bad Dominant* who is a Master with a bullwhip, but i simply address him as Todd, and he is just fine with that. And then there are some there, who .. well everyone calls them Sir or Ma'am and i just follow suit. Never really thought much about it.
A month or so ago i had the pleasure of meeting some survivors of Iwo Jima and it was such a joy and honor to speak with those, and was natural for me to address them as Sir. I never even thought about it. In the end i was hugged by them and one of them said: *Honey it was such a joy speaking with you, and you addressing us as Sir brought tears to my eyes, you were the only one in so long who has given us this much respect*. Well of course this brought tears to my eyes and i cried like a baby. So to those honored veterans a simple Sir showed respect.
So i gather in this forum as well Sir/Ma'am is a way of showing respect, i suppose now it is up to me to decide when to show this respect. Or should it not just simply be given, no matter what?

Categories: random thoughts from a submissive heart and mind

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Comments

gypsiecowboy - 10-07-2008 10:03 PM
Some folks are of the opinion that any dom is a Sir or Mistress to any sub. Some subs seem to feel that way too. As far as I can see I would never Sir anybody that hadn't earned My respect although maybe if I were sub and a dom asked Me to do so I would comply... giving Him/Her the benefit of the doubt until He/She proved to be or not to be...

to some of us in the community Sir, Capital letters, sub, lower case letters are merely symbols and honorifics easily given and in My not-so-humble opinion not worth much.

but I seldom said Sir to anyone in My life, including supposedly superior officers, bosses, teachers... if you want My respect you will have to earn it. in fact I dont know your name if you and I haven't done something together and accomplished something together. friend, brother, slave, enemy, doesnt much matter. if you want an honorific or a name then you had better show Me that you have that much value.

such as you have done, C, simply by sharing your thoughts, words, questions, lovelinesses with Us.

-GypsieCowboy
Windwalker - 10-12-2008 02:45 PM
If this guy..got so bent out of shape just because you didn't adress him as sir...well in my opinion wasn't desreving of it. As for myself...I work for a living...don't call me sir...
plainsman - 10-16-2008 02:00 PM
Is possible that the individual in the chat room who got upset, was over compensating, and the veteran was simply being honest.

"Me thinks he protests to much"

Plainsman
thepast - 10-16-2008 07:06 PM
Ok, well... Here's the "rule" if you want to call it that: you call people what you feel comfortable calling them, as long as it's respectful. The only time you need to use Sir/Ma'am is if you want. If a Dominant insists on it, they are utterly ridiculous. Respect is earned, not given on command.

Good luck

delia, the Chat Admin.
H Dean - 01-06-2009 02:51 PM
It's BDSMer bullshit.